by Matthew Black
Concern is growing for the welfare of Good Morning Britain presenter and celebrity toady, Piers Morgan, as he recovers from emergency surgery to remove his lips from the anus of President Donald Trump.
Morgan, 53, was last night rushed to the Royal London Hospital after experiencing breathing difficulties while interviewing President Trump. Television crew members battled frantically to prise Morgan’s pursed lips from the Presidents welcoming bottom, until paramedics arrived and stabilised his breathing with a temporary airway.
Morgan was subsequently transferred to theatre for emergency microsurgery. Senior Consultant, Dr Francis St John-Smythe, who led the procedure, this morning released a statement in which he stated that:-
I have never seen anything like it before. It was like a scene from the human-centipede. Morgan’s lips had adhered to the President’s anus. Effectively, they had become one being, even sharing a nerve supply. It was a difficult procedure, lasting nearly fifteen hours. Morgan’s lips are now free, and he is breathing unaided, however, he is still very unwell, and the next 24 hours will be crucial.
President Trump described the union of his anus and the lips of Piers Morgan as “Fake News”, a “Witch Hunt”, and “Very Bad”.